Do you have expectations of how you think things should be or the need for specific results?
Do you feel the need to constantly be around someone?
Do you eat just for the sake of eating without being hungry?
Are you obsessed with hanging onto things?
Do you lack trust in your relationships?
People get emotionally attached to many things whether its people, food, objects, work, money or numerous other things. Emotional attachment is like an addiction.
It’s easy to become emotionally attached without even realizing it and when you do it is because you are trying to satisfy an emotional need. Take a relationship for example, you may want to meet the man/woman of your dreams and get married. If it didn’t happen you wouldn’t feel bad unless it triggered your fears and insecurities.
The thing is, you may be looking for acceptance through this relationship and when it doesn’t happen it’s the same as losing your ability to be accepted. This is why people go from relationship to relationship. They are looking to fulfill that underlying need.
Why do people become depressed when they gain weight?
Why would someone spend there last $10.00 on a lottery ticket?
We think of emotional attachment as loving something or someone when in fact it has nothing to do with loving anything but rather wanting to fill an emotional need.
So does that mean that loving someone means you are emotionally attached?
No, not at all!
It just means that if that love comes from a place of needing to satisfy an emotional need like, feeling worthy or being accepted for example, then it comes from an attachment.
I came across a quote from Kathleen McDonald that I would like to share with you.
“Overcoming attachment does not mean becoming cold and indifferent.
On the contrary, it means learning to have relaxed control over our mind
through understanding the real causes of happiness and fulfillment,
and this enables us to enjoy life more and suffer less.”
You may become emotionally attached to things that you have been given or bought over the years. You have a hard time parting with them because of your emotional attachment to them. Stop and think about why you’re hanging onto it.
Many times we continue to attract things to our lives that cause us to feel fear, anxiety, anger and other emotions. This is because we have an attachment to the emotion its self. We become addicted to it thus attracting things and people into our lives that cause us to have these feelings.
What can you do to overcome emotional attachment?
The first thing to do is become aware of the emotional need that you are trying to satisfy. What is the deeper need for the attachment?
Once you know what it is get really clear as to why you need it and then find a way to satisfy it without being attached to it. For example if you find yourself attached to a picture that triggers good memories for you then maybe it’s because you aren’t having any good moments right now. Do something that you enjoy or love to do.
It is known that when you smile the brain releases endorphins which make you feel happy. This is very powerful in helping you to shift your emotions.
A book that I highly recommend is “The Power of Letting Go” by Patricia Carrington PhD
This Article was written by Vera Stark