Are You Emotionally Attached?

Do you have expectations of how you think things should be or the need for specific results?

Do you feel the need to constantly be around someone?

Do you eat just for the sake of eating without being hungry?

Are you obsessed with hanging onto things?

Do you lack trust in your relationships?

People get emotionally attached to many things whether its people, food, objects, work, money or numerous other things.   Emotional attachment is like an addiction.

It’s easy to become emotionally attached without even realizing it and when you do it is because you are trying to satisfy an emotional need.  Take a relationship for example, you may want to meet the man/woman of your dreams and get married.  If it didn’t happen you wouldn’t feel bad unless it triggered your fears and insecurities.

The thing is, you may be looking for acceptance through this relationship and when it doesn’t happen it’s the same as losing your ability to be accepted. This is why people go from relationship to relationship. They are looking to fulfill that underlying need.

Why do people become depressed when they gain weight?

Why would someone spend there last $10.00 on a lottery ticket?

We think of emotional attachment as loving something or someone when in fact it has nothing to do with loving anything but rather wanting to fill an emotional need.

So does that mean that loving someone means you are emotionally attached?

No, not at all!

It just means that if that love comes from a place of needing to satisfy an emotional need like, feeling worthy or being accepted for example, then it comes from an attachment.

I came across a quote from Kathleen McDonald that I would like to share with you.

“Overcoming attachment does not mean becoming cold and indifferent.
On the contrary, it means learning to have relaxed control over our mind
through understanding the real causes of happiness and fulfillment,
and this enables us to enjoy life more and suffer less.”

You may become emotionally attached to things that you have been given or bought over the years.  You have a hard time parting with them because of your emotional attachment to them.  Stop and think about why you’re hanging onto it.

Many times we continue to attract things to our lives that cause us to feel fear, anxiety, anger and other emotions.  This is because we have an attachment to the emotion its self.  We become addicted to it thus attracting things and people into our lives that cause us to have these feelings.

What can you do to overcome emotional attachment?

The first thing to do is become aware of the emotional need that you are trying to satisfy.  What is the deeper need for the attachment?

Once you know what it is get really clear as to why you need it and then find a way to satisfy it without being attached to it. For example if you find yourself attached to a picture that triggers good memories for you then maybe it’s because you aren’t having any good moments right now.  Do something that you enjoy or love to do.

It is known that when you smile the brain releases endorphins which make you feel happy.  This is very powerful in helping you to shift your emotions.

A book that I highly recommend is “The Power of Letting Go” by Patricia Carrington PhD

Enjoy!

This Article was written by Vera Stark

9 Responses to “Are You Emotionally Attached?”

  1. Im very attached to my best friend and ive gone overboard

  2. i am very much attached with a frnd(my clasmate) of mine…..i care him a lot.so he is feeling uncomfortable,so i decided nt to talk..bt it is very difficult 2 me wt shud i do.suggest me

  3. so..uh..when you get emotionally attatched to a person..is that bad?..because normally i try not to get close to anyone because of fear of getting hurt i do want acceptence…i trust no one and recently ive become very very attatched to a guy….and uh…yeah..i just want to know is it bad..

  4. i am emotionally attached to someone i rili luv n i tink about him everyday…is it bad since he is the one im engaged to

  5. First of all it isn’t bad or good to be emotionally attached. When you are attached to something it is because of a deeper need that you have and that need imposes limitations on you. It limits you from all the possibilities that a wonderful relationship offers. When you truly love someone you can choose to let go if the relationship is no longer serving you. When there is an emotional charge to the feeling of letting go then there is a good chance that you are emotionally attached which limits you from freedom of choice and possibility.

    Hope this helps Alex.

    Love and Light

  6. I am attached to a guy. IDK…I love him. There are things about him that arent good and I can do better but I only want him. We’ve been broken up for like 3 months but i still want him. This is unusual for me usually I’m the out of sight out of mind type and I have never been attached to someone for this long. I’ve been attached to him for a year. I’m tryinf to figure out whats going on inside of me making it hard to let go of him completely. Seriously I don’t get like this. I love em and leave him. I cry thinking about him and it’s been 3 months. I often refer to him as my blanket. Seriously I feel like a vulnerable kid. I feel like his arms are a safe place like a freaking blanket. All I can say is he = blanket. It’s hard for me to really like people and before him I dated but didn’t like anyone but him…I took to him. Right now there is an old used up wall plugin that reminds me of him and every time I smell it I cry or i feel intense emotion and it reminds me of when we were in love. Maybe I;m attached to those times. Addiction. Ok I’ve concluded that I’m addicted to him for some reason.

  7. Hi Susan,

    There is always a deeper underlying emotional need that you are trying to fulfill which is keeping you attached to him. The first thing to do is understand what that need is. When I work with people I have ways of unlocking that emotional need. The emotional needs are based your fears and insecurities so that is what I would look at first off. When these feelings are triggered you know that it is from an attachment. The addiction isn’t to him, you are feeling an addiction to the emotion. When you are living in the energy of fear then you will attract more things in your life to bring more fear to you. That is why we are living on such a fear based planet. Have you ever felt abandoned or alone? What is it that you see in him that is keeping you attached? It starts with you. How is hanging on to him serving you and your life?

    I hope this helps to give you some insight into what the underlying need is that you are trying to fulfill. Let me know if I can be of further assistance Susan and thanks for your courage.

    Love and Light
    Vera

  8. I am a lebian lady and my family does not accept me for that. I recently met a lebian couple old enough to be my parents and after reading this I believe I am emotionally attached to them as this is a need I always wished to fullfill. To feel accepted and loved for who I am. I love them so much that I get easily hurt when I can get hold of them. I tell everyone they are my parents, but I dont think they see me as their daughter.They hurt me with the smallest thing and I get over excited when they respond the way I would like things to be.How do I get over this cause its affecting me everyday?

  9. Hello Ashley,

    The key is to look within for love and acceptance. Once you find it within you, then you will begin to attract it to you. We tend to look to our external world for love, acceptance and happiness rather than from internally. That is why many relationships fail because we are always looking for that approval and acceptance from them and even though we may get a taste of it, it’s never long lasting. Hope this opens up some possibilities for you Ashley.

    Love and Light

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